Scat Man
I must apologize for the gross topic and nature of this post. I was watching that Inside the Actpr Studio with Chappelle and there was a huge section on how he likes shit jokes and stuff. So i thought i'd talk about 2 common problems that can happen to a person.
The ghost poo is where you feel as though you have to go do number 2. So you drop whatever it is you're doing and head off the the john. You sit down and do your thing. Sometimes this can take awhile and be a lot of work. Now after you're done some people like to inspect their work. You look down in the bowl when to your shock, theres nothing in there, despite the fact you just spent 20 minutes grunting, groaing and pushing. You've just been a victim of a ghost poo. The only real cost to yourself was the time you wasted and what you may have missed out on while you weren't pooing like you thought you were. Its nothing that can make or break your day.
However, the never ending wipe has been know to kill a man. Once again, you hit the can and do your thing. Upon inspection, what should be in the toilet is there so you begin the clean-up phase. You grab your TP and make your first pass. I prefer to wipe front to back, that is to say from gooch back up your crack toward your waiste. (Back to front wiping is messy and weird and should never be attempted on a first pass if at all) Sometimes, and this is natural, you need to make multiple passes. On a few rare occasions however, you might find yourself half a roll of toilet paper in. This is the never ending wipe. No matter how much TP you use or how vigirously you go about it, you just can't get clean. The never ending wipe is time consuming and demoralizing and usually leaves you feeling the need for a shower.
This is why I like to poo before a shower and not after. In the event i get tagged by a never ending wipe, you can always just hop in the shower and finish the final stages of cleanup that way. Can't say i've ever had a ghost poo though.
