The Sandlot

From time to time in this blog I've discussed scumbags and general douchery. Usually it only affects me in a minor way, but today's shenanigans hit as close to home as possible without it actually being in my home. I'm talking about my scummy red-neck hick neighbors. I can't recall if I've ranted about them before on here, (a quick search in fact shows I have not), though I know I've ranted about them in person to people.

To put it bluntly, my neighbors 1 house immediately south, are the biggest fucking douches ever. They moved in a few years ago after the old lady who used to live there died. Ever since that time, my quality of life has declined proportionally to their awfulness.

At first, everything was OK. They fixed the house and property up a little and seemed decent. Then they got a dog, Scooby. Fucking thing constantly craps right on the property line or just on our side of it. It also never shuts up, but more on that later.

The next strike occurred when they decided to have a couple kids. My first clue to their redneckishness was when she would mow the lawn with one of the infants on her lap; sound parenting skills. Then there was/still is the constant fights that they have. Yelling at each other so loud you can hear them from inside their house while I'm in mine.

Things stayed like that for awhile till the kids got a little bit older and more mobile. Its absurd now. Soon as they get home from school the kids do both of the following: jump on the trampoline and scream non-stop or chase the dog around in a power wheels vehicle causing scooby to not stop barking and yelping.

Then the icing on the cake today. I'm taking a nap after work. Nap began at about 515pm and was rudely interrupted around 830pm by the asshole dad next door on a dirt bike. What was he doing you ask? Oh just riding around in circles and up and down their yard over and over and over for like a half hour. I was about to go jam a stick in his spokes so he crashed.

So if anyone wants to like, move in over then and kick them out that be cool. Otherwise I'm gonna go insane with rage and either tell them off in a loud proficient military manner or lob dog shit at them till they move.