For the Hand of Magdelena
Vince Vaughn summed it up best in Wedding Crashers:
I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair.I was walking through campus the other day and I started thinking about relationships, dating, sex and stuff. It all stemmed from this horrible article i read in the school paper. Some dude saying he took an oath of celibacy and how his life is so much more simple and stress free since its no longer complicated by girls and sex blah blah blah. Well i got to thinking.
The bottom line is of course sex. Everyone wants it. Some people come right out with it and go for it. Other people take the relationship route. But why do people get into relationships? To fuck. The pursuit of both those paths is fraught with games, stress, joy, heartbreak etc etc.
Which brings me to my next item on the agenda. In my opinion, I think you need to get to know a person before you start "going steady." I think if you just jump into a relationship and try to learn as you go, its just a recepie for disaster. But then, if you try that, you might get the "Friend" line. Then what do you do? You obviously want to know the girl more before you make some sort of move toward a commitment. But the friend line kind of kills that. You could make your move anyways, but then that would make things awkward and most likely she'll never want to talk to you again. If you just accept the friend situation, she might get pissed cuz you wont make a move, or worse yet, you'll be like the gay friend she asks for advice trying to find/hold on to some other guy. And you cant stop talking to her, cuz that makes you the asshole.
Thats mainly why i dont put forth any effort. On top of the confusion factor, as Mr. Vaughn so wonderfully illustrates, you have all the other things I outlined. Anything relationship or sex wise that has happened to me has just fallen into my lap with little to no effort on my part. Sure it doesnt happen as often as i would like, but whatever. My life doesnt revolve around trying to hook up with girls every night or every weekend. Im sure i could go out to bars and hook up with hideous drunk girls like lots of guys do. Thats not me though.
Maybe i think too much. Maybe i'm scared. Sometimes i meet a girl, and im like, this chic is beautiful. But then i wonder, ok what kind of person is she? Instead of just going for it, i have to satisfy my curiosity. Partly because I dont want to get into something that will be a waste of time(looks arent everything), and because even though i feel that magical connection to her, what if she doesnt?
Girls this is where you can help us guys out by being a little more forward with your feelings. Funny how guys have the rap of not being open. Girls are just as bad. Whereas guys are not open in a relationship, girls are not open pre-relationship.
I dont even know what im talking about anymore. Party at my house, Friday February 24th 1030-11pm start time. Find Cam Mrs. Right Night. Some food and beverage provided, bring some shit if you come. Anyone can crash overnight if they need to.
