The Sandlot

For years, scientists have attempted to map out the functionality of the human brain to determine which regiions control which behaviors and actions. After a huge breakthrough, they have managed to map out an entire female human brain. Here's what they found.



Snootchie bootchies.

I've been busy. Unlike the restaurant biz, these 3 weeks surrounding the 4th of July are the busiest in the beer industry. It all translates into more frequent and larger delieveries into stores and later evenings. And thats only if things go smooth. I shudder to think what will happen if shit breaks or people get hurt. Anyways, few items to mention.

Square next thursday for 54-40 and The Trews. No idea what time I want to get up there yet, prolly like 6ish though since theres 2 awesome bands playing.

Christina, from the restaurant, is having a 4th of July party and told me I could invite anyone. It should be a sweet bash so if you want to go let me know. Plenty of food and booze so thats where I'll be.

Its getting to be near that time to think about fantasy football. The past 3 years I've run a league on ESPN.com mainly with people from work. Last year I opened it up to more people and this year I plan on doing the same. Draft to be held in August sometime and probably will cost around 50 bucks. Im looking for a 12 man league again. Factoring in returning and non-returning members from last season it looks like I'm gonna need about 6 new members. So let me know. First come first serve.

Oh and its my birthday tuesday. Yea.

So apparently there's this big event happening called the World Cup where all these countries play soccer in this giant tournament. Apparently its pretty popular and exciting. To that I say horse shit.

I used to play soccer. Wilson summer league, grades 1-4. Didn't know any better. In second grade, me, Tos and Mike Palladino lead the Red Team to an un-defeated season where I had 2nd most goals on the team. (mike was 1st, tos was 3rd). Its ok though. Soccer as an 8 year old is actually kinda sweet. Smaller field, 5 players per side which means you actually get to score goals and things happen. It's also not all that gay. Not so with "pro" soccer.

So let me say this. "Pro" soccer sucks. The field is enormous and they have like 12 players on the field per side. Add to that the games last like 2 hours and routinely end 0-0. Sure sometimes one team might get close to the goal but 90% of the time the ball stays near the middle of the field and nothing happens. Guys somehow also manage to have to be carried off on stretchers too. Its absurd. There's very little contact in soccer. The fact these guys are so pussified that they have to be carried off on a stretcher after a little contact is laughable. Oh no you kicked my shin, call me the whambulance.

Want to know why soccer is the most popular sport outside of the US? Because its the one sport other countries can beat us at routinely. Most Americans don't give a fuck about soccer and therefore we have no good players which make for shit teams, . Its the only sport we consistently lose at on the international level. No wonder the rest of the world loves it. Think about it. Baseball, football, hockey, tennis, golf, track and field. Sports predominantly dominated by the US on the world stage.

Then we have the skill factor. Soccer doesn't take much. If you can run and kick you can play. People knock sports like baseball and golf for being boring. At least you need a considerable level of skill for those sports. Besides, watching baseball or golf is 200% more exciting than a soccer match. Give me a ballgame or a golf major any day of the week (look no further than this weekends US Open)

Despite all I've just said, chic soccer I have no problems with. I still won't go out of my way to watch it or anything, but I won't rag on it. Women who play sports are just awesome, even if it is soccer. Dudes over age 10 who play soccer are not awesome. Clearly gay.

Will surely kill you. Last night at the restaurant, the waitresses challenged Skippy to down a tablespoon of cinnamon for $5. Of course he accepted the bet. Its Skippy. The same guy who took a shit on a campfire for $20. A tablespoon works out roughly to an ounce. An ounce of a spicy powdery substance. Starting to get the idea?

So Skip attempts to down the whole thing at once. Big mistake. He starts coughing and gagging almost instantly. Meanwhile, we're all laughing thinking its just burning the fuck out of his mouth. Oh no. Skip's choking. Chokes so hard he pops several blood vessels in his eyes and is pretty much fucked for the next half hour. I would say that it was well worth it though. Skip survived and I got a cheap laugh. And isnt that what life is all about?

Oh and I'm pretty sure I'm quitting poker. Just not fun anymore.

First week on the new job is complete. In a nut shell, here's what I do. I go to various accounts (stores) and do any combination of the 3 following tasks: Stock coolers, put away orders, build displays. Its pretty dull boring work that requires a fair amount of heavy lifting. However, its 200% better than slaving away in a kitchen, especially in the summer. I generally start between 8 and 830am and finish up anywheres from 230-630, depending on the day and if things go wrong. More often than not i get done between 3 and 4. As of now I work monday to friday, but that will most likely be changing pretty soon once i get a dedicated route. I'm still working at the restaurant friday's and saturday's as well.

I'd have to say the one thing about this job is that I get to meet and see a lot of different people. Especially in some of the sketchier stores. Like today for example I was out in the Niagara Falls area. I noticed some guy in full army fatigues with his little daughter. I walk by them headed for the beer isle when i hear the little girl speak. Its not the kind of voice one would associate with a pre-teen girl. I turn and look and low and behold, twas a midget. Goo. And thats just the tip of the iceburg folks.

Oh, I need a date for a couple of weddings this summer. So yea. If you happen to be a girl and want to go let me know. Otherwise I'll have go with embarassement as my date.

I hate it when i accidentally erase a whole entry.

Anyways. New job is cool, better than the restaurant. Im still in training mode but Ive canvased most of WNY in the past 2 days. Tomorrow i get to stay a little closer to home.

In 23 days, I will turn 23 years old. Last night, I went to a party filled with a bunch of 18-20 year olds. Stubborn in their ways are they, but stubborn as a whole, not as individuals. Today while driving to work it dawned on me that I am becoming increasingly anti-social.

The fact is, I have a core set of friends whom I have chosen to associate with. They are all that remain from the hundreds of people I associated with during my childhood and my teens. I continue to associate with these select individuals for numerous reasons. Whether it be shared common interests or issues of trust and loyalty, I have a bond with them and they with I. We are all different individuals. We accept those differences. However, we also push each other to expand and increase our knowledge; knowledge of the arts, world affairs and of ourselves.

Last night reminded me how much I truly detest people who are of such weak will. When faced with difference they resist and revolt rather than embrace. They are a generation raised on being told what to think is cool. If MTV says its good then it is. If MTV doesn't mention it, then it either sucks or does not exist. Why else was there Eminem being blasted on a stereo in a barn at 1 am? These later generations lack the ability to think for themselves. They lack an inward desire to expand their minds. In short, they are victims of the herd mentality.

This is where my anti-socialism comes into play. I simply cannot stand to be around close-minded, bitchy, assholes. Reason number 1 I hate parties unless its a party of my making. It also is the reason that if I'm out at a bar, I rarely if ever associate with some one I didn't go to said bar with.

Not to say that I hate meeting new people. On the contrary. That was one of the things I enjoyed most about college. Going to class and meeting new people. Matching wits, discovering likes and dislike, debating things of great importance and things of absolutely no importance. Then again, most people in college are of the open-minded persuasion and generally not retarded with a small town mentality.

So theres my soapbox. Its been bugging me all day. Watching Kingdom of Heaven only served to make me feel that much stronger about everything I've just said.

In closing, try everything once and give it a fair chance. Think for yourself and you might be surprised.