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5/15/2009 

Tucker Max

Some of you may have heard of this gentleman before, others maybe not. Apparently his site has been around awhile because Brett is familiar with him. If Brett knows about him then it must be really old because he's the king of old, but I digress.

My first introduction to T-max came on my recent vacation to Myrtle Beach. On one of the four nights Tos and I were at the Hooter's Bar, the bartender asked us if we ever went to this website, www.tuckermax.com. We both shook our heads no. She proceeded to tell us how hilarious it was and how we needed to look at it right now. So Tos whips out his precious and starts getting the web page up. Bartender calls over a waitress and tells her to read one of the stories to us.

If you haven't read any of these stories, allow me to give you a brief content over view. They all revolve around the exploits of Tucker, and usually involve alcohol and/or sex, and they're pretty graphic. At the same time, they're pretty hilarious. I'll leave it up to you to peruse the site at your leisure, but I just read "The Sushi Pants" story (only the 2nd one I've read) and if the rest of them are half that good then it's not a waste of time reading them all.

Here's a brief excerpt from "Sushi Pants", enjoy:

11:30: I am confused. I only want sushi. I stand at the door, mesmerized by
the shifting masses of near nakedness. A mildly attractive girl who apparently
works at the restaurant wants me to put on lingerie. I tell her I don't have
any. I just want some sushi. She says I should at least take off my pants. I ask
her if this will get me sushi. She says it will. I take off my pants.

11:30: I pause while unzipping my pants, wondering what type of underwear,
if any, I have on. I consider not taking my pants off. I realize that getting
food quickly is more crucial than my dignity.

11:31: I take off my pants. I have on pink and white striped Gap
boxers. They are too tight. I make sure my package is tucked in. People watch me
do this.

11:32: I order sushi by pointing at the pictures and grunting.