World Cup Of Gay
So apparently there's this big event happening called the World Cup where all these countries play soccer in this giant tournament. Apparently its pretty popular and exciting. To that I say horse shit.
I used to play soccer. Wilson summer league, grades 1-4. Didn't know any better. In second grade, me, Tos and Mike Palladino lead the Red Team to an un-defeated season where I had 2nd most goals on the team. (mike was 1st, tos was 3rd). Its ok though. Soccer as an 8 year old is actually kinda sweet. Smaller field, 5 players per side which means you actually get to score goals and things happen. It's also not all that gay. Not so with "pro" soccer.
So let me say this. "Pro" soccer sucks. The field is enormous and they have like 12 players on the field per side. Add to that the games last like 2 hours and routinely end 0-0. Sure sometimes one team might get close to the goal but 90% of the time the ball stays near the middle of the field and nothing happens. Guys somehow also manage to have to be carried off on stretchers too. Its absurd. There's very little contact in soccer. The fact these guys are so pussified that they have to be carried off on a stretcher after a little contact is laughable. Oh no you kicked my shin, call me the whambulance.
Want to know why soccer is the most popular sport outside of the US? Because its the one sport other countries can beat us at routinely. Most Americans don't give a fuck about soccer and therefore we have no good players which make for shit teams, . Its the only sport we consistently lose at on the international level. No wonder the rest of the world loves it. Think about it. Baseball, football, hockey, tennis, golf, track and field. Sports predominantly dominated by the US on the world stage.
Then we have the skill factor. Soccer doesn't take much. If you can run and kick you can play. People knock sports like baseball and golf for being boring. At least you need a considerable level of skill for those sports. Besides, watching baseball or golf is 200% more exciting than a soccer match. Give me a ballgame or a golf major any day of the week (look no further than this weekends US Open)
Despite all I've just said, chic soccer I have no problems with. I still won't go out of my way to watch it or anything, but I won't rag on it. Women who play sports are just awesome, even if it is soccer. Dudes over age 10 who play soccer are not awesome. Clearly gay.
