My Old Self
So lastnight we went up to Slicks. I got fucking hammered. We're talking down and dirty wasted like i havent been in ages. Between getting pringles cans thrown at me, darts in my drinks, headbutting everything in sight and having santos, ray and toby beat me up several times I'd say it was a successful night. The real fun happened on the ride home though.
Bandit drove me and santos. On the way home santos started fucking with me. He was sitting shottie and i was in the back. He was poking me with the snow brush, hitting me with a bottle of windshield washer fluid and more stuff. I eventually had enough and tried to escape by jumping over the seat into the back of bandits truck. Tos climbs in the back and gives me the push assist. Mind you in the back of the truck is like 8 cases of bottled water, a nail gun, some hunting gear and god knows what else.
So im eating sun flower seeds, and throwing them at Tos, whos still trying to assault me. I swing my leg up over the seat, BAM. Kick tos in the face. he doesnt get it and i nailed him a couple more times before he left me alone. (he now has a black eye) Then in my drunken haze i spot a box of girl scout cookies. Unfortunatly its those carmel nut-butter kind. I toss the box at tos in disgust only to reveal the red box, which as we all know are the glorious peanut butter patties. I crack that bitch open, intent on devouring everylast one of them. Then i get thirsty so i reach between my legs and crack open one of the cases of water. Tos, thinking this to be a good time to strike attacked and made it so the water splashed all over me. Then i splashed him.
Made it home by 430am, soaking wet, sauced but fulfilled, where i promptly assed out.
