Things you never want to hear your mom say
1. Derek I need to borrow you for your length.*
2. Do you have sex in my house?
3. Were you masturbating?
4. Whats the lotion for?
5. Why don't you have a girlfriend?*
6. Can you see my nipples through this shirt?
7. Your dad's taking viagra.
8. I know how you like your sex.
9. I dont want to be a grandparent.*
10. Your fathers mad at me cuz i won't have sex with him.
11. Why are there kleenexs all bunched up in your garbage!!
12. Masturbation relieves stress
* these were actually said to me. The others are second hand accounts I'm sure most of us can relate to.
I can't decide whether 1 or 6 is better. Solid gold, both of em.
Posted by Rad | 12:10 AM