The Friend Zone
In honor of Valentine's Day, I present this little nugget for all the dreamers and singles out there.
There's no worse feeling, as a man, of liking a girl and not being able to do anything about it. While I've not been in this position for some time now, I can still recall with ease moments in my youth where I was struck with this floundering sense of helplessness. This isn't a case of a man being too scared to approach a girl, or having a crush on some movie/TV personality you could never realistically be with either. I am referring to a phenomenon knows as The Friend Zone.
For most guys, upon meeting a girl, multiple internal decisions are made almost immediately. The girl is first found to be attractive or unattractive. The next decision then is that at the very least he will make efforts to sleep with the girl, or possibly date her, provided she is deemed attractive to the guy. No guy meets a girl and decides, "she seems nice I bet she'd make a good friend." Important note before I go any further. This is pertaining to guys who are single. Guys in relationships, unless they're total scumbags, operate under a different set of rules and procedures.
If a guy has friends that are girls, its because something happened or circumstances already existed to prevent sex or courtship and now the girl views him as a total non-sexual entity. Say the girl already has a boyfriend or just broke up with a boyfriend but isn't ready to date again. Or in most cases, the guy just flat out bricks. As I've seen it, both first hand and through friends, you really only get one chance with a girl. If it doesn't happen, you either end up never seeing the girl again or you end up in the Zone. For clarification, not seeing the girl again is preferable to being in the Zone. If you're stuck in the Zone you may have to see the girl constantly and deal with the knowledge that you'll never date or sex her up while listening to her talk about other guys and watching her date other guys. But here is where guys are admittedly stupid. We still think we have a shot at getting out of the Friend Zone and being the boyfriend so we stick around. The thing is, you can't get out of the Friend Zone.
Girls for the most part, are oblivious to all of this too. They have no clue of the anguish and despair they are causing. So ladies, if you happen to be single and have a couple of male friends just know this. Every one of them wants to bang you, and a good portion probably also would like to date you. So if you're feeling lonely, give one of em a call on this holiday and have some fun, and do it in the butt.
