The Sandlot

So yesterday I'm just hanging out here before work when the house phone rings. Now, I still have a land line in my room, but I keep the ringer off because no one calls me at home, they call my cell. Occasionally Bubba will call the house to talk to one of us but I don't make it a habit of answering the house phone for 2 reasons: Its never for me, or its Nissan/UB wanting to talk to me.

So back to yesterday. Phone rings, Box answers it. 5 seconds later, he tells me the phone is for me. I'm thinking its Bubba. Wrong. As has happened multiple times in the pass, I'm greeted by a female voice speaking barely passable English identifying herself as being from UB. I know I'm not the only one who gets these calls but for those who maybe haven't graduated from a college let me explain why they would call you 3 years after you graduate: they want money. Donations this, donations that. Usually I make it clear to Box n my mom to inform these people I'm not home but Box fucked me. Here's a brief recap of the near 5 minute conversation I had.

• Foreign Girl (FG): Hi, I'm calling on behalf of UB, can i just confirm your name and address?
• Me: Sure
• FG: (after butchering name and address) We're contacting all alumni trying to secure donations for blah blah blah, would you feel comfortable with making a gift of $250?
• Me: Absolutely not.
• FG: I understand, the economy has been very poor but these donations are used for blah blah blah, how about $150?
• Me: I'm not interested in making any donations at this time.
• FG: Oh, well these donations really help us pay for such n such and state aid sometimes just isn't enough, how about $50?
• Me: How about UB pays off my student loans, and then I'd consider making a donation?
• FG: I don't understand...
• Me: Listen I have to go, have a nice day

I politely told the girl several times I wasn't interested in nor was I going to make any sort of financial donation to UB but she kept pushing it. So I had to take a hard line approach. The funny part is, I have no student loans. They been paid off since 2007. Next time they call me I think I'll tell them that I'm 37 and still live in my mom's basement so I really can't afford to give them any money.